he cheated on me in my dream.

For the past couple nights, I have been sleeping like a goddamn baby. Our new apartment has been so kind to us, and my boyfriend and I are acclimating well. We love the life we are building here.

But last night was the first night in the one week we’ve been here that I was up all night, tossing and turning. I dreamt he had cheated on me.

This is not the first time this has happened to me, and it’s never actually true, but if you’ve ever dreamt something like this, then you know how real it can feel.

You never really get to see, or even remember, the mistress's face, you just know that she’s there.

Your man couldn't care less, and actually takes to hurting your feelings about it. You either stay with him, or a huge fight breaks out, and then… you wake up. With a pit in your stomach.

But what does this actually mean? Let me explain my dream to you.

I was out somewhere doing something, (context clearly doesn't matter in a dreamscape) when I saw my boyfriend hanging out with another girl. I walked up to them to confront him, and I couldn't say the words. I was frozen. Instead I pulled him away, and we went to dinner.

The entire time he's on his phone texting this woman, and even when we get home I notice he is still on his phone. Looking back at it, I'm wondering what the fuck I was still doing there, but the Zoe in my dream wants to stay. She wants him to stay. She stared at him, with her stomach in knots, wishing he’d look up for a moment so she could gaze at him with the eyes he once loved.

She knew what was going on, he didn't have to say a word. She tries to bring it up to him but again, the words refuse to come out. So she writes a note.

SO ADOLESCENT!

As soon as he sees these words, written for him on a pink sticky note, I wake up. And it’s all over.

I look up at the ceiling, in this dark room, and see nothing. I turn over to my sleeping boyfriend, dreaming peacefully and innocently, and can't help but throw my arms around him.

I was so thankful it was all a dream.

Nonetheless a little part of me was still mad at him. And he did nothing but sleep.

So what does it mean? Do I have something to be worried about? Should I let this go?

According to Dream Analyst Lauri Loewenberg, cheating dreams can often be traced back to emotional dissatisfaction, sexual dissatisfaction, or unresolved feelings about a past infidelity. But it doesn't mean that your relationship is in trouble.

According to Loewenberg, “Dreaming your partner is cheating on you is far more common than

dreaming of cheating on your partner.” In my case, my partner cheated with a stranger, and on the advice of Loewenberg, this simply means that I may actually feel cheated out of quality time or attention. We haven't seen each other much lately, we work different hours, and we still have personal lives and responsibilities outside of our home.

But this doesn't explain WHY I woke up still mad at him! What does THAT mean?

Am I ridiculous? (don’t answer that.)

Bottom line, I cannot punish him for something he didn't do.

But I'm still a little salty. Whatever- I'll get over it.

xo, zo.